It doesn't have to be perfect.....

Life isn't always roses; I know this, I appreciate this, and I never expected it to be. I know that there were always going to be good days and bad days and, yes, the latter were always going to form the majority. Life doesn't always follow those little paths that you want it to – sometimes you lose control and you need to put your life in someone else’s hands or seek guidance from others. Asking for help is not weak, nor is it an embarrassment. Everybody needs a little helping hand from time to time.

I find that, in the short-term, it is so easy to look at life through rose-tinted glasses. You wake up in the morning, birds singing the morning song, burst of light from the early sunshine peeping through your curtains, and a day ready to be faced with vigour and strength. Jumping out of the shower into freshly laundered Egyptian cotton towels, a cool breeze making its way through the window, the smell of freshly brewed coffee tantalizing your senses and you feel alive. Coffee sipped, outfit on, your favourite [and most faithful] heels stepped into, hair made, and a classy flash of colour from your favourite red lipstick and you are ready to face the world, smiling to your heart’s content.

I know that, in real life, people rarely lead lives like these. In all honesty, I don’t think I have ever had a morning that started just quite so perfectly. These days I find myself dragging my bum out of bed at about 6am after waking up at 5.40am throwing myself into the shower as a way of simply waking myself up, grabbing for the nearest towel – most definitely not freshly laundered, coffee is fresh but only at the weekend. I'm known for drinking about an inch before running out of the house. My favourite and most faithful shoes are actually my slippers, not a pair of Nine West beauties (which still remain my favourite pair of heels), and doing my hair and applying lipstick? Really? I rush my hair and makeup before work every morning and sit there feeling a right mess!!

Back to the point… That ideology of a ‘perfect morning’ is, in its true essence, a highly romantic view on how a day should start; anybody who expects this day in and day out is going to be sorely disappointed and unfortunately it would just lead to a spiral of unhappiness. What I envy most about people is that for some, putting on your favourite lipstick and greeting the world with a happy smile is the norm – it doesn't have to be a product of the ‘perfect morning’, nor the product of a ‘perfect life’, it is just the way they are and they can naturally see the world through these rose-tinted glasses. It’s something that I have myself perfected over the years and I know this, only people who really know me can see through the cracks but it makes customer-faced jobs a doddle. They assume I'm some hyped up crazy chick, always on the ball, always laughing and giggling and singing. Okay, a lot of that is fact – I am the girl who sings her heart out in work and isn't afraid to make a mockery of herself, but I wasn't always like that, and it’s only now that I can look back and wonder what the trigger point was.

I think I've boiled it down to travelling and stepping way out of my comfort zone.

I used to be the kind of girl where one thing would go wrong and suddenly the day was ruined and nothing could rectify it. I used to be the girl that had a paddy if she didn't tick every item off the list. I used to be the girl that painted on one hell of a smile for work and then felt her world crashing down as soon as she left. It was dreadful, truly dreadful. Instead of taking every little bad thing in my stride and accepting that these things do happen I let each and every single thing get to me. It’s tiring. It’s never ending. It had to stop.

Dolly Parton once said: "the way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain". So, whilst sometimes I experience one of those gale-force 10 storms, I just take a deep breath and let it wash over me. I feel invincible....

With love, xo

positivity

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Little Fish Food || FODMAPs & sweet potato brownies...

For someone who doesn't particularly have a sweet tooth I do an awful lot of baking. I'm certainly no contender for the Great British Bake Off, as much as I'd love to be, but my love of baking stemmed from those baking sessions with my Gran when I was little. Yes, most of the time my only contribution was clearing up (licking the bowl) and taste testing, but once I left home for university and when my Gran was poorly, the list of ‘to bakes’ grew as I was left to bring round the sweet treats that she could no longer bake...

There’s something about baking that makes it so cathartic. From gathering up the ingredients, to the gentle hum of the oven, to the smiles on the faces of the ones you love as they stuff their faces (only to complain later when the jeans get a little tight - oops).

Whilst I still love to bake a delicious sweet treat, I’m finding myself spending less and less in the kitchen and more time browsing Pinterest for recipe alternatives. I love the odd cake or two (I am still more of a savoury bird mind!) but too much sugar brings on migraines, too much wheat brings on IBS, too many sinfully good treats and my body literally breaks down.

I’ve recently been educating myself about FODMAPs and the effect that these carbohydrates have on the body or more so the effect they have on your gut. A lot of people with gastro related issues (I’m looking at you IBS, you might be a doctor’s favourite diagnosis but you aren’t winning this time) seem to find an awful lot of relief of cutting various things out of their diet... Wheat (not strictly gluten - I’m not talking about coeliacs here) and lactose being the two main culprits!

So what are FODMAPs? FODMAPs (Fermentable Oligosaccharides, Disaccharides, Monosaccharides, and Polyols) are basically carbohydrates that are found in foods. I’m not about to start a war on carbs here because they’re not all that bad - they have their uses for example - but unfortunately for some people, FODMAPs are poorly absorbed by some people and can cause the myriad of symptoms a la IBS. Wonderful hey?

I’m no dietician, goodness, so I’m not about to start spouting off advice on what you can and cannot eat, I will however be documenting my journey through reducing those dreaded FODMAPs and seeing how my physical and mental well being improves.

So, where were we? Ah, I was talking about baking.

As mentioned, one of the main culprits and a definite FODMAP no-no is wheat, so now is the time to put down those conventional wheat-ridden bakes and start exploring more wheat and gluten free options... That is where I present to you my FODMAP friendly, wheat/gluten-free, nut free, dairy free (remember lactose is largely a no-no too!), guilt free sweet potato brownies. I’ve used my lovely work colleagues as guinea pigs and all of the feedback was positive! Some preferred the traditional gooey, delicious, sugar-laden brownies that we all know and love but for us tender tummies who just can’t cope with more than a crumb I know where my vote sits...

Wet ingredients:
1 large sweet potato, roasted, then skin removed.
5 dates
3 tbsp coconut oil (melted)
2.5 tbsp pure maple syrup (or honey if you wish)
2 medium eggs (or if vegan, you could easily replaces these with flax eggs)

Dry ingredients:
3 tbsp coconut flour (also works with oat flour)
3 tbsp cocoa
1/4 tsp baking powder (gluten free)
1/4 tsp cinnamon
Pinch of salt

This is a really simple recipe. Seriously, it's a case of blitzing all of the wet ingredients together (I use my Nutribullet). Then, I pour the mixture into the sifted dry ingredients, mix, and pour into a lined 8x8 tin. If the mixture is too stiff, add some liquid - almond milk (or normal milk if you're not going for dairy free).

Pop in a preheated oven (175C), middle shelf, for 25-35 minutes... and voila!

You can cut this into how ever many chunks you would like. I cut mine into 20 bite-sized portions which are perfect if you fancy a bittersweet pop of cocoa that you know isn't going to hurt you! I used the trusty MyFitnessPal app to calculate the nutritional information if you so wish to have a look (per piece)...

Most of the ingredients listed above are totally fine for a low-FODMAP diet, thank you to IBSdiets.org and LowFodmapForLife for the information. There are a few ingredients that are on the post however as below, but here's why I’m still using them:

Sweet potato - Whilst sweet potato is classed as a low-FODMAP food, eating it in excess may cause adverse conditions. Most sources advise eating no more than 1/2 a cup a day (about 3 tbsp). One large sweet potato is used in the whole recipe, meaning that per bite you’re only consuming 1/20th of a sweet potato.

Dates - Dates are considered a high-FODMAP food due to the levels of fructose. This recipe does only use 5 dates (for 20 servings) so the effect on total fructose levels should only be minimal.

Maple syrup - Pure maple syrup is a fantastic low-FODMAP option for adding a little sweetness to your food. Honey is unfortunately a no-go due to the fructose levels so keep in mind... Watch out for the cheaper maple syrups that are more ‘maple syrup flavouring’ if anything, these contain plenty of nasties...

Coconut flour - This one is a funny one and it’s all down to personal preference. Some people react to it, others don’t! The good thing about coconut flour is that many recipes (including this one!) only call for small amounts. I’ve made these brownies before using ground up oats which were an excellent alternative and a definite low-FODMAP option.

With love, Little Fish x

sweet potato brownies

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We are masters of our own destiny......

“Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.”

― J.R.R. Tolkien

We all have a very important role to play in life. Our mere existence influences the paths, the choices, what happens, how it happens. Each and every one of us has a purpose - no matter where we came from, what we have done in the past, what we plan to do - we can all make a difference but we all need to believe we can do it. 

You’ll meet people in your life who were sent to test you - your patience, your strength, your courage, and your determination. There is no right and wrong answer with how you deal with such people, but the outcome is shaped by how you respond. For me, I seem to have come across many of these people... Unfortunately. I’ve had people who said I'd never succeed academically, that I was maybe just a ‘D-grade student’ (Biology). I didn’t take to that too lightly, no, instead of letting that defeat me or push me back in the dirt I used this to my advantage. I knew they didn’t know the full story (the back story if you wish, they didn’t know what was going on in my personal life). I used that new found determination and proved them wrong - firstly where the A-Levels were concerned and then up into further education, obtaining my First Class Hons and Distinction for my Masters.

Academia and the obstacles I met along the way aside, I've also have to deal with the sort of people who try to break you down personally. I’ve had the jealous and bitter remarks from girls who have way too much time on their hands and I've had ill-advice from family when I was at my weakest. I somehow found it in myself to look them in the eye and say no to the family, to laugh off the bitterness, and to actually feel flattered that someone could talk about me so much. Honestly, if someone devotes that much time to talk about your existence then don’t feel disheartened, feel flattered.

Follow your dreams - however big, however small. Stuff your rucksack with a million and one clothes you'll probably never wear, arm yourself with a travel guide and enough money to let you live your adventure (although in reality we always come back skint, I’ve just about paid off my Australian adventure and I came back over a year and a half ago!). Stick your nose into those books, endure a little stress, overdose on tea, power on through and prove that YOU can achieve anything. Whether we're looking at this from an academic perspective or a life's-lesson perspective, muster up enough courage and anything is possible.

Remember that we are the masters of our own density, no being can lead our lives and no one should let them influence it either. Remember that you - yes, you - are playing the lead role in life, this is your story from start to finish. Those who say you can't do it, prove to them you can. Stand up to those who think you are weak. Speak out to those who do not believe you. If, at the end of this, they still continue to live their lives in attempt to thrash your dreams, do not let it influence your decisions, merely laugh at their sordid attempts (over a glass of wine of you may, it helps immensely) and take no notice. At the end of the day, whatever they think/ believe/ say does not matter in your life... It has no impact on your present or your future - only your past. If you can let go of the past (or at least grab it by the horns and face up to it) then you've already won the race...

 // Little Fish (in a very big sea), x

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