Riding the surf.

“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor”, oh Franklin (D Roosevelt) what wise words you said. Often I believe we’re all too keen to jump into life head first, feeling that we’re invincible in everything that we do, thinking that the path is going to be laid out for us with signs illuminating the way. Whilst a very optimistic ideology to live by it often leads to disappointment and heartbreak.

Life isn’t perfect – you and I both know that now, surely? – But neither is it supposed to be. We are built by the obstacles and challenges we overcome, our resilience built by the very hurdles that are sent to knock us down and destroy us. Being optimistic is not a bad thing, of course it isn’t, but seeing life through rose tinted glasses and not being realistic about these things can be more of a hindrance than an advantage.

It's a little silly how these things spring to mind. I've been back from my travels nearly a year and I've accomplished very little in that time, cried unnecessarily over boys, had my heart stomped on, and stomped on someone else's too. I've been coming to terms with the possibility that I've got to deal with chronic pain for the rest of my life (we shall see what happens after the operation), and I've been left in my hospital gown awaiting a diagnostic procedure I've still yet to receive. Granted, this was yesterday's situation but it made me feel terrible. Distraught. Non-human. Like I was merely drifting. I just have to keep reminding myself that it is all okay {well, with the exception of being left hanging like some sodden washing.. that just plain pissed me off}; it has helped to build me.

I'm using this set back and grow from it to help build up my resilience against plenty of other obstacles that are bound to get in my path at some point or another.

Life was never supposed to be an easy ride. Much like the rider who falls off the horse or the surfer who all-too-ambitiously swims out towards the strongest surf and gets knocked back, I will get up again. Just you wait.

xX

realism

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Domestic Sundays • Sticky marmalade & carrot loaf.

It's funny isn't it how a simple recipe can bring back memories from years before? Just like a familiar scent I guess, or a particular place, I get that same bout of familiarity with well tested bakes.

Sundays have become my bake day. Nigella of the North wakes up bright and early Sunday morning, dons the apron, and gets to work. Okay. Dream over. I wish I could call myself 'Nigella of the North' (although I have been coined that before..) and I certainly don't rise quite as early as I should but never mind that. I still enjoy a spot of baking and general household duties on a day I've now called 'Domestic Sundays'.

I'm terrible for keeping up with this blog. I had such high hopes for it too, a little spot that I could pour my heart, soul, and calorific goods into but I got seriously distracted (and a little poorly) so naturally it took the back burner.

Never mind, best laid plans hey?

Today changed something I guess. For one, I'm in my prime blogging location (surrounded by bubbles and Dead Sea salts, but unfortunately sans wine - C'est la vie!) and secondly, I recreated my favourite carrot cake recipe from yonks ago.. back in the day where I'd come home from Plymouth (university) for the holidays to have a little book of goodies waiting for me - a collection of torn out recipes that my gran used to collect for me. For the life of me I can't think where this little culinary scrapbook is but it's on the top of my list to find it for sure.

On that note, and without further adeu, here's this delicious recipe for you to try 💕




Ingredients (for the loaf):
• 150 ml vegetable oil
• 2 eggs
• 175g light muscovado sugar
• 350g carrots, peeled and grated
• 1 tbsp thick cut marmalade
• 1 tbsp poppy seeds
• 200g self-raising flour
• ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda
• 1 tsp mixed spice

Ingredients (for the topping):
• 2 tbsp thick cut marmalade
• 2 tbsp orange juice (just under half an orange)

Method:-
• Preheat the oven to 150C
• Grease and line a 13cm by 23cm loaf tin
• Beat the eggs with the oil and sugar, stir in the carrots, marmalade and poppy seeds
• Stir in the flour, bicarbonate of soda and mixed spice
• Mix well, pour into the tin, level the surface, and bake for 75 minutes  or until a skewer comes out clean
[I leave mine to cool in the tin on the side]
• Heat the marmalade and orange juice together
• Make holes all over the cake with a skewer and brush the mixture all over

Wait until completely cool and deliciously sticky, slice, and enjoy.

[Recipe can be found here]

-x-

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Sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."  ~Hans Christian Andersen

Starting over, that’s something that I’ve mastered over the years. From starting the new school year and buying a new school bag / stationary to get me through the year, to moving my life from one place to another – to university, to Australia, then back to my roots. Whilst I can count the number of blogs I’ve owned on one hand, I know that there’s always something rather symbolic about why I drifted away from the old and into the new – I craved change. From the breakup of a rather destructive and mentally draining relationship, to kick starting a little venture with plenty of tea and cake (okay, and lipstick), and then where I ventured out to chase my dreams on the other side of the world. They’ll always have a little place in my heart, I can’t erase the memories after all, but sometimes it’s best to just pull the plug and start afresh.

I’ve been out of the blogging game for a long time, or so it feels, and with it I feel like I’ve lost a little bit of myself. I know that seems terribly pitiful but for someone who gained a lot from sharing experiences, words of wisdom, and showing off the calorific delights that I produced (in the name of procrastination), to just suddenly stop doing that leaves a bit of an empty hole, something I’m ready to fill again.

So why Little Fish Big Sea? As an aspiring mariney person (insert biologist, ecologist, environmentalist etc) it seemed rather fitting; I’m simply a girl trying to find her place in the big wide world. It seems kind of ironic that I wanted to get lost in blogging again as a means of finding myself, but hey, it works, and it only really became apparent today that I needed to do this. I was taking a walk through the local garden centre – I know, highly exciting Bank Holiday weekend – and I came across the Red Admiral (as pictured above). I haven’t seen many butterflies this year and I know a fair few have passed the same comment, so naturally I stopped to admire. Very carefully I placed my hand down and without coaxing it, the butterfly stepped onto my hand. It was a beautiful moment and from that point onwards I’ve felt different. I have a little more life. A little more sparkle. A little more to give. 

Just like the butterfly, one must go through some change to progress. We are all butterflies waiting to happen.

Rache, xo. 

personal

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